How to make friends at university if you don't know anyone

One of the hardest things about making friends at university is the feeling that everybody else is doing it faster than you. They are not. Most people are starting again too, even if they look confident.

You do not need to become the loudest person in the room or collect a friendship group during Freshers' Week. If you are wondering how to make friends at university, the answer is usually much less dramatic: keep putting yourself in places where you see the same people, and make small conversations easier to repeat.

Start with the people you keep seeing

Friendship becomes much easier when there is already a reason for you to be in the same place. That is why classmates are often the simplest starting point.

Sit next to someone rather than leaving a chair between you. Ask whether they understood the reading. Say hello when you see them again the next week. If a few people are heading for coffee after class, go with them once.

None of this sounds life-changing, but that is how most university friendships actually begin. Familiarity does a lot of the work.

You don't need a clever conversation starter

The pressure to be social can make normal conversations feel like job interviews. They do not need to.

In the first few weeks, everybody has easy things to talk about: the course, the campus, the timetable, commuting, accommodation, food, whether they have understood the online systems yet.

Try questions that are easy to answer: 'Are you on this module too?', 'Do you know where the next class is?', 'Are you commuting or living nearby?' The aim is not to impress someone. It is simply to make the next conversation less awkward.

Go to things more than once

This matters more than people realise. Going to one event is useful. Going to the same society, sports session, volunteering activity or student event several times is how people start recognising you.

UEL's Getting Started programme includes Welcome+ activities designed to help students meet people and settle in.

You do not have to join ten things. Pick one or two that you would genuinely be happy to return to. Repetition is more useful than trying to attend every event in September.

Living at home does not mean you miss out

If you commute, the trick is to stay on campus occasionally when you do not technically have to. Have lunch with classmates instead of heading straight home. Go to a society meeting after your last lecture. Say yes to the coffee that means catching a slightly later train.

You do not need to spend every evening at university. You just need to give friendships somewhere to happen.

Don't confuse being surrounded by people with feeling close to them

Freshers' Week can create instant groups because everyone is looking for company. Some of those groups last. Plenty do not.

If the people you meet in your first week are not your people, nothing has gone wrong. You may meet your closest friend in a seminar in November, through a part-time job in January or during a group project you initially did not want to do.

The idea that you have a tiny window at the beginning of first year to secure all your friends is one of the biggest myths about university.

Online group chats help, but they are not the whole friendship

Course and accommodation group chats can be useful for breaking the ice. They can also make you feel as though everyone else is constantly socialising.

Use them to make real-life interactions easier rather than treating the chat itself as proof of who is popular. Reply to something relevant, ask whether anyone is heading to campus, or use it to arrange a study session.

And if a group chat is making you feel worse, mute it for a while. You are not missing university because you are not watching 200 messages arrive every evening.

If the first few weeks feel lonely, tell someone

There is a difference between taking time to find your people and feeling persistently isolated. If university is starting to feel lonely rather than simply new, speak to somebody.

Your course team, Student Life staff and university support services are there for exactly this kind of transition. You can also explore UEL's student support and campus-life information rather than waiting until you are struggling badly enough to think you 'deserve' help.

Things to help in the first month

• Sit beside people rather than always choosing an empty corner.
• Learn a few names and use them the next time you meet.
• Go back to the same activity more than once.
• Stay for lunch or coffee occasionally instead of always leaving immediately.
• Suggest one small plan rather than waiting to be invited.
• Do not judge your social life by what other people post online.
• Give new friendships time to become comfortable.

Frequently asked questions

Is it normal to have no friends when you start university?

Yes. A lot of students arrive knowing nobody, and even students who know one or two people are often building their social circle from scratch. The first few weeks are a beginning, not a deadline.

How long does it take to make friends at university?

There is no standard timeline. Some people click immediately; others build friendships over several weeks or months. Repeated contact through classes, societies, work and shared routines usually matters more than one big social event.

How can shy students make friends at university?

Choose smaller, repeatable situations. Sit beside the same people in class, attend a regular activity and aim for one conversation rather than trying to work an entire room.

What if I do not drink?

You can still have a full social life. University friendships form through classes, societies, sport, volunteering, work, coffee, food and ordinary time spent together. Nights out are only one option.